It's true. I miss them so much it hurts. I had it so good in Arizona and even though I was aware of it, I thought there was a chance that the grass might be greener on the other side. Lately, I question myself constantly, about everything. One of my big questions is "why the hell did I move to Utah?" Now there were several reasons why I thought Utah was going to be the best choice I had ever made before....1) I would only be a 3 hour drive from my nieces and nephews 2) I would be close to the majority of my siblings 3) I'd have more opportunities to staff at GL ..and the big bonus was that a certain man had come into my life in the midst of the moving frenzy. It was definitely necessary and worth it for me to move here so that our relationship could evolve further.
I'm ready to go back or bring my friends, job, and bosses to SLC. I miss the support system that I had there. I am so lonely here in Utah. I have friends but they are not the same kind of friends that I had in AZ. All of my friends here in Utah are busy all of the time and most of them do not live close by. I feel like I continually make an effort to be invested and I never feel like it is reciprocated. So I'm to the point that I have pretty much stop trying.
The really frustrating part of all of this is that it is causing a big problem in my relationship with the person I care most about. When I'm feeling sad and lonely, the last thing I want him to do is go out with his friends...yep his friends that are a few minutes away, the ones he calls his best friends. Anytime he wants to go do something I make it hell for him. I make him feel guilty. I basically pull out all of the shots. I hate that I do it and I know he definitely hates it.
I am at a loss and I feel so alone.
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3 comments:
Jessica, I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. I still love you:)
Keep up on the blogging if that helps, that's pretty much the only way i keep in touch w/ my friends.
Oh Jess, that makes me sad! You can always come play with me! I am not sure where your living now but I am in Cottonwood Heights but you are always welcome over (despite my messy house and obnoxious dogs). Call me 801-860-3085.
I'm sorry you are lonely Jess. If it makes you feel better I am in the same boat except I don't have a boy that makes it tolerable, and I didn't move by choice. :) But you can come and visit us Arizona girls any time!!! We love love you and miss you!!!
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